“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” ~ Romans 8:38-39 (NLT)
I read an articles this morning about a young Pastor who just committed suicide and left his wife and 3 young boys behind. It broke my heart!
The article went on to share that pastors get depressed too. It struck me as odd, there was a need to post an article to remind people that pastors are just like the rest of people. Doesn’t that in and of itself point out a problem?
People have for too long been placing pastors in a position to be worshiped. Elevating them to a status above others. Believing somehow that since they have the calling to be a Pastor somehow they are super-human and are slightly above others. As a pastor’s wife, might I just say… Please, Stop! Pastors are not above or better than the flock they serve. They do not get some special pass to bypass issues of life nor are they super human or more spiritual than others. God chooses pastors the same way he chooses the rest of us… through His love, mercy and grace!
So why do people buy into an idea that somehow pastors, pastors wives and even pastors kids are somehow more spiritual?
First, because we allow them to think that way… and it’s called pride. Who doesn’t want others to think more highly about us than they should? Just take a look at social media and you can see that each of us fall into this trap. Why should it be any different for a pastor, pastors wife or pastors kid?
Somehow when people think of us better than we really are, it strikes a chord in us. I think an honest chord really.. who doesn’t want to be better than we actually are??? It feels good to us, because we all know our own failings and desperately wish we were better at controlling them. So, when the accolades come that say… “wow, your pretty neat!” It feels so much better than the voices we deal with in our own heads that perpetually repeat a message that says… “I am not enough.”
Secondly, the standard of Christ is perfection. So when a pastor is called into the ministry, and has an honest heart for the ministry, what do you think the standard is for him and his family? That’s right, you got it… perfection like Christ!
The problem, however, is it’s not obtainable this side of heaven. Oh, the other side of heaven it’s already been declared for us. But for the here and now… no way Jose! We can never achieve it! As much as we strive to obtain it, the fall is coming, the slip-up happens, the sin is revealed within our own hearts and it takes a blow at the measure of how we see ourselves.
Somehow the false narrative that says we are to be more spiritual seeps in with every eye of expectation that stares at us and our families. Every praise from people who says how great we are, is like a fake brick that builds up our altar of false humility and pride. When we accept that brick… we begin building our own pedestal without even knowing it. And, if we are not careful, before too long, we can look around and find ourselves sitting in a higher position, poised as perfect amongst the congregation God has called us to serve along-side with!
That pedestal serves as a comfort to our own inadequacy. A blinder, if you will, causing us to not face the fact that God called imperfect people with flaws and failures to led His people. He never called us to be perfect in order to lead. All throughout history, God always used imperfect, sin-prone people to lead His people. Why should it be any different now?!?
Yes, Jesus is our standard, and yes, we should strive for His perfection, but someone needs to shout out the message long enough and LOUD enough for all to hear that we can never achieve His perfection apart from Him. And, the someone who needs to be carrying that message, needs to be the ones themselves, who will be affected the most if that message is not understood within our culture. The pastor, the pastor’s wife, the pastors kid!
Which leads me to a third reason people buy into an idea that somehow pastors, pastors wives and even pastors kids are somehow more spiritual…
Since we know we cannot achieve this perfection apart from Him or apart for the Holy Spirit of God. Many pastors, pastors wives and even pastors kids feel ashamed to admit when we are not perfect, it’s a direct reflection of us not being led by the Spirit or filled with the Spirit in any given moment.
Now in the Christian culture, we all know that to try to do ministry apart from the filling of the Spirit is a no-no! So of course when failure comes, when depression hits, when humanity swells and overtakes the spiritual man… he hides behind the facade of being perfect! His speech takes on a tone of perfection to compensate. For some, although most likely subconsciously, boasting from the pulpit to portray their successes rather than their failings affords this temporary band-aid to hide inadequacies and failures. The snare that was set, if not quickly shaken off can cause the sin of pride to latch on for dear life. A slow fade begins to take place where the Sinner Pastor becomes the Perfect Pastor from the pulpit that was meant for him to boast about Christ and Christ alone! Or the Sinner Pastor’s Wife begins to dress up to protect the reputation she so desperately wishes for. And, the Sinner Pastors Kids learn at a young age that pretension is their protection from the bite of expectations others have established for them.
So what are we to do? How do we stop this pattern that has already been set in motion by many who have led before us?
How do we ourselves change our own minds from the thinking that we were called to be better than those we serve?
How do we change our own minds that Christ expects us to be perfect in order to be qualified to lead his people?
Or how do we dare to be brave enough to allow others to see us, as who we really are and still feel accepted to minister in their eyes?
Read… Read our Bibles! Saturate our own minds with the words of Christ and quit letting the words of man take precedent over the words of God!
Quit letting the eyes of man’s stare, take precedent over the eyes of God graceful glance.
Quit robbing God of His glory by trying to be equal to His perfection. It’s His perfection which allows us to be imperfectly perfect and imperfectly saved. Let’s boast in that.
Be brave enough to be authentic, acknowledging we all are saved as sinners, we all live life on earth as sinners and we all meet as sinners at the foot of the cross. None of us, no matter how we want to paint ourselves are greater than another spiritually. The moment we think we are, we have just stolen from the power of the cross. We’ve robbed the glory that belongs to God and Christ, whom Himself, was perfect and who sacrificed His perfection out of love for us sinners to be saved.
That’s a powerful message and a far more valuable message than the perfections or attempts of perfection from man!
Mans greatest achievement in life is Christ!
Mans greatest accomplishments in life comes from the power of Christ lived through a broken and weak vessel which shouts out LOUD the marvelous wonderful grace and mercy of God!! Which shouts out LOUD the victorious life we have in Christ and that blessed truth that one day, this bondage of sin will be abolished forever! Which shouts out LOUD that God loves the sinner and shares His perfection with our broken messed up lives, so that He and He alone can receive ALL the glory and honor forever and ever!
“My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever”. ~ Psalm 73:26
See link below to read about this family. Please pray for them!
http://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/us/2018/august/pastors-wife-pens-heartbreaking-public-message-after-his-suicide-these-are-the-words-i-would-say-to-him