“Coming to Him as to a living stone, rejected indeed by men, but chosen by God and precious, you also, as living stones, are being built up a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Christ Jesus.”              

~ 1 Peter 2:4-5

As I contemplate some of my fears in life…

Which include great heights, spiders, snakes, vomiting, scary movies, Ferris wheels, betrayal, and loss of a loved one or physical pain.  One fear that has been particularly difficult for me and would rank closer to the top of my list of fears would have to be my fear of rejection!

I am certain many reading this post would rank rejection as being towards the top of their list of fears as well.   Maybe not their most debilitating, but certainly one that can send a shiver down your spine.

I don’t think there are any of us that would wish to draw the straw of rejection!

Most of us have experienced a dose of this poison in our lives, some a double portion!  Whether it is as a pre-teen dealing with the yo-yo friendships that come with being a junior high girl.  The rejection one feels from a high-school break up, the horrific ramifications that are birthed out of a parent’s divorce or your own divorce.

The boy who never noticed you even though you fawned over him and tried with all your being to muster up enough courage to ask him to dance.  Rejection when a dad does not show up to an event that was special to you.

Being left out of the crowd, uninvited to a party or only partially invited.  Being told you’re not good enough, inadequate or unsuitable.

Trusted as a friend one day only to be disapproved another day depending upon the crowd that happened to be surrounding you.

Ignored, not asked to participate, not welcomed to visit, not allowed to speak, not enjoyed, not liked!

I never really struggled with rejection when it came to achieving something.  Somehow, if I put my mind to it, I was determined to win the race, beat the boy in kick ball, climb higher than the boys or at least as high. Run faster, out smart, out wit, out last.

Competitive as I may have been…when it came to relationships, here is where I found myself left to stand or sit on the sidelines waiting, hoping to be picked for anything, but last!

With the exception of my most amazing husband… My family members and my dear friends.  I still sometimes find myself sitting in the all too familiar seat of rejection when it comes to certain halls of relationships!

Like a rubber band that stretches only to snap back and sting the fingers holding the end of the band.  Rejections have had this same recoiling, rebounding, snapping effect!

Recently I was reacquainted with this snapping foe!

And although such an event standing on its own, would cause any one of us say… Quite your winning!  Get over it!  However, with each repetitive snap eventually it shreds open the skin, tear and penetrate with much more than a simple stinging pain.

It creates a wound that either never heals or once it does, leaves a sensitive tender scar that even the slightest touch could leave you screeching in pain!

Rejection can leave us in many ways to be a beggar in life.

Begging for attention, for validation that people are not qualified to give.  Begging for love, acceptance, kindness, and grace, for identity!  Begging for the very things that are freely offered to us by God.

As a beggar we sit stranded in a lonely heap, despondently hoping for man to fill the emptiness, the void this world has carved out of us, leaving upon us a vacant, bruised wound so vast, so deep, and so debilitating!  A gap that only He, only God can possibly know what is needed to mend and make perfect!

We can so easily occupy the seat of a lonely beggar. 

When we find ourselves on any given day sitting in a heap of despondency, afflicted and bruised. Be reminded to …

Look Up!  

Call out!  

Stand up! 

Change your clothes and, Move Forward!  Even when devoid of the emotion to do so!   

For what this world has to offer is only the crumbs left behind from the feast that God is preparing in heaven for those who love Him!  Our best days on earth will be our worst day in heaven.  And if there were even such thing as a worst day in heaven, it would still be greater than our very best day ever experienced here on earth!  Our future can be nothing but bright if heaven is our final destination!

But as it is written:  “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man, The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”                                                                ~ 1 Corinthians 2:9 (NKJV)

….. She slipped in and sat in the last row.  Many people slowly trickled in and found their seats.  Mostly they filled in from the front to the back to afford a great view of what they eagerly had come to witness.

Empty seats surrounded her and faces unknown sat in front of her.   She felt comfortable and confident in her familiar seat of solitude.

Suddenly familiar faces entered.

Some of them she had known for many years.  Their eyes scanned the rows looking for the perfect seat… A quick subtle smile fashioned their faces as they exchanged a quick glance with her.  They seemed to pause as if to determined where to sit.  To her… it seemed they might be, in that split second, deciding whether to sit in the empty seats next to her?

They settled in seats within proximity of her, but not close enough to engage in conversation.  She was saddened that after so my years of acquaintance there was not enough of a bond for them to sit together amongst the many other faces of strangers?

Next, another of whom she had known for even more years confidently strolled in wearing and adorable yet spunky style that looked like something a model would be seen wearing splashed on the front page of magazine cover.  Her confidence allowed her to pull this outfit off perfectly!

As she approached, she immediately noticed the familiar faces and gave them all excited greetings!

The warmth of friendship filled the air!

She peaked around the room to notice the seating arrangement… Her eyes searched looking for the perfect place to sit.  She seemed to evaluate each row.   However, from the sitters vantage point, it appeared she was being careful not to allow her eyes to connect or to land upon the one who sat alone in the back row.  This one who sat staring intently at her, waiting for their eyes to meet so she could be included in a welcoming hello!

However, her evaluating eyes shifted quickly away from this back row sitter and focused instead upon the familiar faces that had entered before her, she too recognized them and lit up with delight as they embraced each other with expressive loving eye contact.  Noticing they had open seats next to them, she decided to sit close to them and they embraced each other with warm hugs and intimate conversation!

Friendship once again filled the air for everyone… except for the one in the back row.

The one in the back row continued looking at this individual hoping for an opportunity of acknowledgement. An opportunity which never came… even though it appeared to be pretty certain this sassy dressed lady knew the one sitting alone was gathered amongst the crowd.

Suddenly, this lonely sitter felt her own confidence shrink, it seemed to slip away with every passing minute she was ignored.

She was left wondering?

She searched her mind for a reason as to why she may be deserving of this?  No matter how hard she searched, she could not find a reason that warranted this kind of avoidance.

Tick, tick, tick… Minutes continued to pass and she began to notice herself adorned with an old familiar unfashionable accessory.

Her neck felt the tightening, as if someone was lacing a ribbon around her neck from which hung that ugly, but familiar scarlet cord.  She fought the feelings of what this ribbon represented.

Rejection!  

An inward battle ensued and a flood of memories of multiple experiences over the years slammed to the front of her mind!  As mush as she resisted the ribbon. It seemed to be latched tighter and tighter with every minute that passed.

Emotions scrambled to the scene…

Confusion… Why???

Anger… Really!!!  Why is it that some people come across as arrogant in his or her own confidence; so selective in whom they will equate value to?

Loneliness…  She felt exposed in those elements! Shivers of loneliness ran through her veins. At that moment she wished to have a friend in the crowd who would validate her existence! Someone who would lend credibility to her value!

Sadness… Grieved in an environment where love was supposed to be the glue that bound them together.  She felt such sadness due to the temperature, which was so often set towards her at such a chilly degree.  A cold setting amongst the people we hope to demonstrate red-hot love!

Sadness seemed to be the prevailing emotion at that moment!  

If only she understood…

Why particular folk felt compelled to ignore her?  She would gladly make personal necessary changes, if indeed there were a valid complaint against her.  However, after years of having this cord cinched and re-cinched around her neck, at times to be worn as a debilitating choker.  It has left her tired, despondent and honestly disturbed!

She prayed…  She asked God to allow what she had experienced over the years, to afford her such empathy for the rejected!

She prayed... Asking that she herself would not be characterized with this kind of behavior towards others.

She pleaded… she especially pleaded; She would not deliver back to her rejector’s the unbecoming behavior they so freely presented and offered her at most, if not all, of their impromptu meetings.

She pleaded instead for grace!  

The grace… To give what she does not receive!

The grace… To set her temperature higher for those who presently shiver her out.

The grace… Not to be vengeful.

The grace… To trust God to be her defender.

And…

The grace… To love even those, who for whatever reason, present themselves as unlovable to her!

For by Grace…

… It is only by grace that she, herself is able to stand before The One (Jesus) whom she had once offended, insulted, ignored, misunderstood and even rejected!  And despite her offenses, He set His temperature higher… and in doing so, He set the standard of love that we should all strive to follow! 

 

“If I had the gift of being able to speak in other languages without learning them and could speak in every language there is in all of heaven and earth, but didn’t love others, I would only be making noise.  If I had the gift of prophecy and knew all about what is going to happen in the future, knew everything about everything, but didn’t love others, what good would it do? Even if I had the gift of faith so that I could speak to a mountain and make it move, I would still be worth nothing at all without love.  If I gave everything I have to poor people, and if I were burned alive for preaching the Gospel but didn’t love others, it would be of no value whatever.”

“Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong.  It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out.  If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him.”  ~ 1 Corinthians 13:1-7 (TLB)

“There are three things that remain—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.”  ~ 1 Corinthians 13:13 (TLB)