“He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you; But to do justly, To love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God? ~ Micah 6:8 (NKJV)
… Do I dare to develop these thought out loud? I breathed this phrase as I sputtered water through my lips that splashed across my face while standing beneath the gushing shower-head…
I have so many thoughts that rumble in my mind…
He seemed to speak loud over the pounding water which muffled my ears to the noise around me. Whether it is the mundane duty of showering or the blow-drying of my hair, it seems while doing those simple everyday tasks, I hear Him best as He speaks deeply into my being.
Many times the deepest of understandings come to me in those moments. I have often wondered why when I am most vulnerable and most unbecoming does He choose to show up to have a visit?
Could it be… here, when I am doing a well-worn repetitive action that my mind rests in thinking about the task at hand and can instead hear His whispers? In the movement of these ordinary tasks, where my mind is quite enough, silent enough to hear Him talk in His still small voice.
Over the years I have learned for whatever reason, this is most often my time of visitation from Him. He speaks at other times too, especially in my devotion time… But since my shower follows after, it’s in those unbecoming moments that a thought or understanding becomes fully developed within me. It’s here that I seem to learn at my deepest level of understanding.
Mostly, I cherish it!
Except when it is something so rich I don’t want to forget it. Such as a song, a poem or a real meaty truth! In those moments having to step away momentarily from the task at hand to write it down, can at times be inconvenient.
Soaking wet standing with a pen in hand scribbling my nuggets down while a puddle forms under my feet. Or repeating over and over out loud the thought to try not to forget even one small word before the task is complete. That one is especially hard these days as my aged memory skips a beat from time to time.
One thought that has rattled through the fibers of my mind is a thought on the topic of pretension. This thought has rattled around enough that there seems to be dents in the fragments of my thinking.
Pretension?
What does that mean anyway? Such a big word seems fitting for its meaning! As I looked it up, it seemed I needed another dictionary to understand the words used to describe it’s meaning.
Pretension: – An aspiration or claim to a certain status or quality. The use of affectation to impress; ostentatiousness.
I could almost hear my voice inflection dramatized as I read those definitions. Even the definition caused me to speak in a theatrical tone. I turned the pages to find the meaning of the next word…
Affectation: – Behavior, speech or writing that is artificial and designed to impress.
And then to the next…
Ostentation: – Pretentious and vulgar display, especially in wealth and luxury, intended to impress or attract notice. (Showiness, display, flamboyance, extravagance, exhibitionism).
1. Pretentious display meant to impress others; boastful showiness.
2. An unnecessary display of wealth, knowledge, etc., that is done to attract attention, admiration, or envy.
Synonyms for pretension: – Grandiose, highfalutin, high-minded, la-di-da, Pompous, snippy, ostentatious.
Synonyms for Ostentatious: – Extravagant, gaudy, glittery, splashy, pretentious, boastful, crass, egotistic, grandiose, loud, obtrusive, peacocky, pompous, spectacular, theatrical, vulgar, vain.
Antonyms for Pretentious: – Modest. Unpretentious.
I got the picture! This word, this ugly word, made me want to look at my own style. It made me want to inspect to see if my attitude displayed this even in the shadow of my manners. I looked in. Then I looked around…
It seemed to be seen everywhere! No matter the place, this word seemed to parade it’s self on the backs of people!
But, I must admit… I disdained it most when I saw it clothed in my own life. I cringed when circumstances caused me to feel most safe when wearing those pretentious pants of perfection.
I wanted to speak my mind to the person or persons who thought them to be fashionable in the first place. Somewhere along my life journey, I must have seen those pants draped on a mannequin of another life? Somewhere, along the way I must have seen those pants strutting along screaming a statement of fashion? How else and why else would I ever consider wearing them!
Today I see those pants, those pretentious pants of perfection, worn in many different circles and in all different kinds of styles! Apparently, not only I heard the message! Unfortunately, many men and women of faith also have been seen wearing those pants. Maybe because that’s the crowd I most often hang with, so naturally I would see it there? Or maybe, it’s because they too were programmed to believe pretension is perfectly fashionable!
I pounder what the frock of humility is to look like and why so few of us desire to wear it? Could that garment be sparkly or is it only considered to be drab? Could it boast of color or make only a statement of neutral or black and white? Would it be a pattern cut from a common theme or uniquely fashioned with beads, pockets and a flattering neckline? Could it be fashionable or is it just simply frumpy?
What if it was just simply frumpy? Would we then instead purchase those mass produced pretentious pants so we might fit in with the crowd of perfect? Or would we opt for the ordinary, simple, frock? You know, the one that no longer captures your attention in the display window. But instead is hidden amongst many out dated garments crowded together on the clearance rack at the back of the store.
I flipped the pages backward in my mind to observe by memory who I might see sporting this frock? First, out of curiosity of who wore it? Then, who wore it in such a way that it could be labeled fashionable? Looking in the most obvious places, nothing immediately surfaced. Then, suddenly I began to see faces.
The more I moved away from the obvious. The more I moved away from the crowds. To more obscure locations, behind the screen. There, is where I saw the most beautiful! There, many precious unpretentious people gathered in small circles.
Not dressed for success with coordinated colors… Not flashy or dazzling with perfect speech. Not sporting the most fashionable seasonal styles. But simply, framed with the gentle garments of humility.
Their temperament spoke of… Acceptance. Cooperation. Unity. Love. Compassion. Uniquely displayed under the simple frock of humility. Gathered together amongst the most unassuming of people!
Honestly, I once believed to wear that frock was somewhat less desirable than those dazzling perfect pants! But as I have spent more and more time in the dressing room of life, I have come to realize…
The frock of humility is more unique, more original, subtler and far more dazzling in beauty than any pair of pretentious pants, no matter whom is strutting em!
I have come to realize… Those who dare sport this style of humility are far more secure, far more sincere, far more free, far more safe to associate with and anything but frumpy! And, although it takes time and effort to finally arrive wearing this frock. Our savings will far out weigh the amount that pretension will cost us in life!
I cherish so much those friends and family members of who have discovered how to be real, to be themselves! It’s so refreshing to be in their company. I feel like I can just hang loose in my scrubby clothes with them. I remember I use to be that way. What changed? Where did I get comfortable in the pretentious pants of perfection? Who told me to wear those? Did someone tell me or did I choose to dress in that way, thinking I was dressing for success? Who knows, maybe a bit of both?
I think I would like to instead put back on my old frumpy frock of humility and live real!
As we search the malls of people, we see startling statements of fashion all around. Sometimes it’s too much perfection for me to feel at ease.
Since when and why must we mask up to look perfect? Who was that person who wore the frock of humility with such dishonor that today it appears to be frumpy?
Why do we fear to fully drape our bodies in this frock?
I remember when I started this blog I swore, not a swear word… But I vowed… I would not blog pretensiously! I even contemplated the thought that maybe in the spirit of true authenticity I would post a picture of myself that wasn’t polished or posed just like I wanted this blog to be.
I contemplated taking a picture of myself first thing in the morning and posting it. You know in the spirit of being real? Then an old memory hit my mind…
I remembered back years ago when I was staying with friends at a hotel. We were waking early to go for a walk/run. I slipped out of bed, pulled my hair back in a pony and laced my running shoes; I hope I brushed my teeth? Then, suddenly I heard the questions that I remember to this day.
“Does Troy see you like that?” She blurted! I am sure it was a statement she wished she could retract. A bit startled, I replied instantly, “of course he does!” and then we all giggled together at the awkwardness of what each of us was left thinking.
For me, it was obvious… clearly; I was not looking my best!
It’s interesting that I’ve remembered that comment from so many years ago. It just goes to show us how deep our image portrayed to others really goes!
The funny thing about it is, often in those times is when my husband expresses to me that he thinks I am beautiful! I am so thankful to have a husband that thinks I am beautiful even in my unpainted state! I love that I can be myself around him, with no pretense! I love that he accepts me as imperfect!
As I think of it. There are not huge crowds in my life I can say that about, but on the others side of that coin… There still are plenty! Those are the people I cherish most. People, I can just be myself with! If you’re reading this, chances are it’s you! So… “Thank You” to all of you precious friends and family out there, whom I feel free to be me with! I appreciate you so much! More than you know!
Ok, so I decided maybe it wasn’t a terrific idea to post my morning rising photo! Ha-ha! Just thinking of it makes me chuckle! So I thought? How about I post a picture that is not so frumpy, and just tell you so!
So here it is! Here’s my painted posed picture of me. A view I far better like than my first morning sight! It’s not perfect! But it’s not phony either; it’s just me how I am most of the time. Hanging with my 4 most favorite men. Hanging with 4 fantastic people I feel most free to be around!
“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4 (NKJV)
“Then He said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.” ~ 1 Kings 19:11-12 (NKJV)
“Let us not be desirous of vainglory, provoking one another, envying one another.” ~ Galatians 5:26 (KJV)
“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves.” ~ Philippians 2:3 (KJV)
“Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall. Better to live humbly with the poor than to share plunder with the proud.” ~ Proverbs 16:18-19 (NKJV)
“Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, and before honor is humility.” ~ Proverbs 18:12 (NKJV)
“Because your heart was tender, and you humbled yourself before God when you heard His words against this place and against its inhabitants, and you humbled yourself before Me, and you tore your clothes and wept before Me. I also have heard you.” ~ 2 Chronicles 34:27 (NKJV)